Had a chat with my present host last night about trusting the Universe to guide me. I had told her that, on the way "home" last night, I told the Universe that I didn't much care where It wants me to go, but I wouldn't mind knowing where It wants me to go next. A bit of a longer conversation ensued after that which doesn't matter as far as the content of this post is concerned.
Living as I am living now--traveling on a motorbike with very little money, no insurance (except for the bike) and no plan--how do I experience trust in the Universe?
Most of my life, I've lived hand-to-mouth, paycheck to paycheck. I have found that what I need often just appears out of nowhere and is generally unexpected. Combine that with how many times I've had to start over from litttle or nothing in my life and I've just come to the conclusion that it really doesn't effect my overall level of happiness and joy if I have stuff or not. If I haven't any money on a given day then I go out amongst people and look for opportunity. It shows up. But on the very, very occasion that it doesn't, something else does; somehow my basic needs are met. As long as I'm alive, my needs will be supplied and I've been in enough close situations that I'm confident of this factor of life.
Sometimes, especially lately, I've gone to a town with no idea what I was going there for or what I would do once I got there. The felt/experience of thiss is one of wondering and observation. I figure that I am a cog in the machine that will help someone and all I have to do is to be willing to go and kep my eyes open. By being willing, my needs are met while beinng of benefit to others. I must say that my little mind gets a tiny bit frustrated occasionally (much less often than one would think) when the end of a living situation (couch-surfing hosting or self-suggested time for leaving) gets really close and I have no idea where to go next. I have packed the bike before and set out with NO idea where I was going, so I'd stop at a restaurant to have a cup of coffee and get on the 'net and while there, someone would say something or I would read something that caught my attention and the thought, 'Hmm, that seems iinteresting.' would appear. That would be something that wasn't present before I went inside and so I would have my next location.
So often, just by being open to possibilities and not holding on tightly to my own opinions about how my day is to go, I have found myself in pretty interesting situations. True, they aren't like riding around on my own 200' yaght, sipping champaign out of a flute glass, but by keeping alert to THIS moment and what is present in it, it feels spectacular and fulfilling to me. If that is the case, what is missing?
I loved and dear friend recently told me that she felt saddened that I am sad, that I want a life partner and can't find one. While this is relatively true--yes, I would enjoy a mate who matches me--I also occasionally want a certain type of chocolate, would love to not have read a certain good book so I could read it again with a fresh mind, and would like to see the world from outer space. I may allow my mind to play with these thoughts once in a while, but they aren't keeeping me from finding joy in my present circumstancs. They are but waves on the ocean of my life.
A very recent xample of howw my trust in the Universe manifests: I was scheduled to stay with my present host here in Tucson only until Thursday. Then I was going to move to another host who ws going to let me stay for a week or so. Now, I had no real plan when I came to Tucson other than to get in a little higher-level dancing than what I'm used to. Well, I had lost contact with my second host and had no backup plan, other than to get on the bike and head eastward. As time was getting close, my present host extended her invitation and soon after, my second host made contact and renewed her offer. Then, a spiritual teacher I admire invited me to a workshop close to Sante Fe on the 12th so...looks like the Universe has presented me with my next thing. Of course, I've noticed that It sometimes changes plans on me so I'm not married to this plan. But I know that whatever happens, I will be joyful and well-supported by the Universal experience...and if not, well, I know that I am safe in my mortality. :-)
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