Humble...

Weds: Another day. It is what it is. This one resulted in previously unknown knowledge that I still owe too much in back child support ($3600) to obtain a passport. If I had the passport, then I would be able to get a job on a cruise ship which would pay off the child support in a very short time. Ah, well, it is what it is. Funny how life works out.

Sat: This weekend seems like it may be a bust for making money. The weather forecast calls for rain and storms. Not only can I not twist in the rain (the balloons can't adhere to themselves when wet, nor can I draw on them, and who would I twist for?) but getting to where I might be able to twist becomes problematic because of the need to get there via motorcycle. Oh, well..."the Universe loves to give me money." This has been my new mantra for the past few weeks. So far, it hasn't been sending me gobs of money, but it takes a while (sometimes) for the Universe to get the message...actually, for my own id to get it; the Universe is always ready to give. Looks like I may just be heading out with very few bucks in my pocket...as if that is a new thing. :-) (Just checked the radar; rain will be arriving in about an hour. There is very little food in the house so I think I may have to run out for some. Maybe I'll spend the day making some more YouTube videos...)

My friend, Fred Smith, welded the portions of the crash bars of my bike for me Thursday. He gifted the work to me. Fred is an incredibly nice man. He came to me years ago to learn to dance. He got to be a very good dancer, though at first, he didn't believe he'd be able to. I'll tell you what, I hope I have the energy he has at 75 when I'm 50; the man is amazing to watch! It is almost impossible to believe he is 75. I also had another young man, a tenet here in this condo complex, offer to take the crash bars into where he works and fix them. The Universe blesses me!

It seems that I'll be leaving town, Monday, in rain. I intend to go visit my brother before I head out of the state and then make something of a straight ride all the way through to the Bellingham area. Perhaps I will be able to make it out there in time for my friend's (Laurie) Birthday/Solstice/Summer party, if it happens. In any case, I'll get to visit my daughter and my friends for a little while. How long I stay may depend on whether there are places to twist. The last time I was there, coming up with funds was a little difficult due to competing balloon twisters. If things work out, I'm hoping to spend the month of August in the Monastery again. This time, perhaps I will be in a position to absorb more of the "being there" instead of trying to figure out what my outside (the monastery) life was going to be like. While I'll still have some of that going on, I likely won't be going through a grieving process like I did the last time.

I don't expect it is going to be easy to leave Sharon. Out of respect for her, I'm not going to write much about our time together, I don't think, but to say that she is a very sweet and loving individual expression of the Universe. 

What does the word, "Humble", actually mean? A quick Google search gave me this:

Adjective Having or showing a modest or low estimate of one's own importance.

Verb Lower (someone) in dignity or importance: "I knew he had humbled himself to ask for my help".

Synonyms adjective.   modest - lowly - meek - submissive - unassuming - low verb.   humiliate - abase - mortify - lower - degrade - demean

I think I have a different definition: Raising everyone in one's estimation to the level of God -- including oneself. Seeing no one as being better or worse, higher or lower in importance than oneself. Recognizing and fully acknowledging that each person we meet is living their own lives with their own experiences, all of which are important to them as ours are to us. It doesn't make sense to me to lower myself to the lowest common denominator rather than raise everyone to the highest. 

Our Greatest Fear —Marianne Williamson

it is our light not our darkness that most frightens us

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,
talented and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other
people won't feel insecure around you.

We were born to make manifest the glory of
God that is within us.

It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people
permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.

Does this mean to brag? Of course not! But it does mean to recognize that we are all equal, there is no "Higher or lower" in status. We all have the minutes of our lives to sell. What we choose to sell them for doesn't say a word about who we are, it only says something  about what others are thinking. But when we come right down to it, no one's minutes are any more or less valuable than anyone else's. To me, being humble in the traditional definition is the opposite form of being a showoff and is equally a show of pride. Both are extremes and neither are honest. What I do well, I do well because I enjoy doing it and have put forth the effort to be able to do it well. What you do well, you do well for the same reasons. To belittle what we do well is to hide the God-essence within us for the sake of the ego of another bit of God-essence. We all have our aptitudes. Playing small doesn't allow others to shine, it only dims the world. Being real in all areas of one's life allows other to be real, too. I could go on, but this is enough for now, I think. Besides, I'm getting hungry. :-)