Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Sacramento

I'm in Sacramento now. The ride down was uneventful, though I never knew that North-central California is a rice growing area. There were miles upon miles of rice fields interspersed with orchards of all sorts. I had heard that gas prices in California were higher than ever, yet I paid less than I have in ages; $3.79 per gallon.

It was interesting breaking camp and loading the bike again. I still haven't found a fast and simple way to do it. I was, however, able to let go of a couple pairs of pants and a pair of socks. There is much more that I would like to let go of but feel I need. The bike is SERIOUSLY loaded when I travel. I got  to say goodbye to Onyx, one of the bobtail dog-cats. I told Tova that I was sorry, but I had to abandon  two cats at her house because I couldn't get them to stay in my backpack. (Of course, she knew I was talking about her cats.)

I've not ridden in a large city in a large city in California for quite some time, especially on a loaded motorcycle. I blinked and in that space of time, the car in front of me started to stop for ants. In other words, he began to stop just because he felt like it. We were in the high-speed lane and I locked the back brake in order to miss ramming him. Talk about pucker-factor! I was relieved when I pulled up to the house I'm calling home for a couple days. I nice little place fairly close to downtown.

I called Christina, my hostess, who works close by. She said that she'd be home in a couple minutes and sure enough, she was. She's a multi-tasker and a half! Her energy rolls off her in waves. She showed me around her house, cooked us a simple fish dinner and we watched a little internet TV while she did some work on her computer and enjoyed a few beers. I was ready to pass out when I got there and so was pleased to call it a night early.

Today, I visited a balloon store (it is SO neat to be able to walk into a store and pick the balloons I want off the shelf!) and a magic store. It is more pleasant riding an unloaded bike around town, that's sure. I also stopped by a radio shack to buy a new power cord for my computer, $64.64. I got on eBay and original replacement cords cost as little as $6.98. Needless to say, as soon as I find an address I can use, I'm ordering one and taking this universal cord back. I can use that money for more balloons!

It's a lovely day out, but I've spent the last couple hours in a Safeway Starbucks, looking for cheap balloons and places to go dancing. I think that I can safely say that I'm no longer a big-city fellow. At least, not at this time in my life. The sprawl of huge cities is confusing to this one who has  become used to small town life. And after this comes San Fransisco. Oh, boy! :-) I wonder if I'll be able to find Cliff...the cat who saved my life.

I think I will go take a nap in a park. I'm WAY tired.

Sunday, October 28, 2012

Halloween in a college town.

For someone who is working on integrating the awakened understanding into his sexuality, Friday and Saturday evenings in Chico, CA, the weekend before Halloween, was not peaceful. All the pretty young women in town were competing in who could wear the skimpiest outfit or who could look the sexiest.  Pour on top of that copious amounts of drugs and alcohol, testerone filled young men and you have the makings of a city-wide drunken orgy. Everywhere one looked (even in the backyard where I was camping, though I wasn't involved) "stuff" was happening. Talk about feeling old!

Toby and I walked around town to view the local Wildlife and wild it was. We made it "home" by 11 and the party was just getting started in town. Yelling, screaming, loud singing, parties all once the place, sirens going on constantly... Not much sleep to be had.

As I wandered around, I was able to see the pain that people were in, yet likely didn't even realize that they were in pain. This phenomena is somewhat like when one tenses their shoulders and realizes that they are carrying much more tension than they realized. Why does one seek to get drunk? To have fun? This hints that their normal state of mind isn't fun. Oh, but perhaps it is a different type of fun. What prompts the desire to go there? Just asking. No clue what your answers might be for you... And chances are very, very good that whatever your answers are now, they'll change.

Oh, the bobtail brothers! Just love 'em to pieces! Dog-cats, both. Onyx and Obsidian, may they live long and happy lives. I sat and caught up on Glee and Onyx slept pushed against me the whole time... That, to me, is proof that the is a heaven on earth!

I was going to break camp yesterday and ride down to Red Bluff to visit a friend from couchsurfing but her elderly father had fallen and she had to spend time with him so it was a good thing that I did not break camp.  I am moving on to Sacramento today. They have balloons stores!!! :-D I might even be able to join in a balloon jam, the first one in more than a decade!

Up, up and away!


Friday, October 26, 2012

Pumpkin heads and integration

When I got up today and finally got out into public, I happened on a contest called pumpkinheads. People stood on the milk carton crates with carved pumpkins on their heads, and the last one standing wins $1000 plus a car. This was the 16th annual contest.

Last night, I had the blessing of being accompanied to a late dinner/breakfast by a lovely young woman. She was interested in the path of wisdom. I discovered that I'm still integrating the awakened state into my sexuality. What this means is that, when one awakens, there is a period of time in which old habit patterns can be triggered. If one is able to stay totally awake to the whole habitual process that is being triggered then it is much less likely that the trigger will work in the future. In other words, integration means allowing the awakened understanding to permeate the whole of one's ego and in this way, enabling one to dwell continually in full awareness. Unfortunately I found out that, due to recent events, I wasn't quite able to just remain aware of thoughts/feelings triggered without reaction. I lost awareness for a few moments and flirted. She handled it well, but I didn't want that to happen. (sigh) All I can do is begin again. We all have issues that are ours to work with and we usually won't know if we've succeeded in "beating" until they are challenged.

Kate, if you read this, the information you were given is completely correct, even if the messenger hasn't completely integrated it is all parts of his life. Even the world champion dancers take lessons.

It is interesting that I'm not much interested in wandering around town or up into the huge city park that I've heard so much about. I think part of that has to do uncomfortable footwear. My feet are in quite a bit of pain. I'm thinking that I'll use what cash I make this weekend in buying a pair of comfortable hiking boots that can double as motorcycle boots, if there are such things.


Chico and Paradise.

The title sounds like it could be a Hollywood movie! "The Adventures of Chico and Paradise; How the West was Lost!"

My time here has been quite leisurely and uneventful. I took a ride up the Skyway to Paradise and a bit beyond the other day. There is a canyon on the way up that is quite impressive. A local told me that it is sometimes referred to as "The Little Grand Canyon." I'll post a few pictures. I spotted a fire truck on the side of the road and stopped to ask if the firemen knew of any local places that would be good to visit. They directed me to a fire lookout on top of a small mountain but when I got to the dirt road that led to it, I found it was WAY too muddy for my heavy street bike. I slid in a gob of mud deposited in the main road by a previous visitor. So, I just rode back to Chico.

It rained quite a bit yesterday so I mainly just hung out in my tent and worked on the computer, meditated, and visited with the cats. I actually was blessed to be the bed of one of the cats for about an hour. A lap-cat! How cool is that?! To me, that is a local version of Heaven. Toward evening, I strolled downtown to get a bite to eat and be around people. Of course, the place I chose to eat at had no customers but me. You guessed it: I had Asian food. Pad Thai, to be exact. T'was the smallest portion of food I've ever gotten in an Asian restaurant. What food there was, however, was awesome! As I was walking around town, I spotted a Stone Cold Creamery and decided to treat myself. The Universe decided to treat me to an ice cream in the form of the manager gifting me the treat. The power of joyful balloons!

Tova, my hostess, decided to come stay at the apartment last night. We chatted for quite some time. A very pleasant, intelligent woman. I, of course, stayed in the tent. I enjoy sleeping in the cold, but I think my body is getting too stiff to enjoy sleeping on hard ground. So today my adopted sister, Francine, gifted me the money to purchase a high-quality sleeping pad. It will have to wait until tomorrow, unfortunately. PayPal doesn't deposit the money directly into my bank account but takes a few days to show up.  But I'll get the pad tomorrow.

I've been noticing the cliquishness of the downtown areas of the areas I visit. Bellingham, Wa. and Chico could be sister-cities as far as the caution inhabitants display toward those they don't know. The street people are friendly with the street people. The collage kids are friendly with other college kids and the couples are somewhat friendly with other couples. However, few will extend their friendliness beyond the borders of their own clique. This isn't something that I've noticed just toward me, but it's the general behavior of almost everyone downtown. Approach someone with the idea of asking for directions and one can easily see them gird themselves for fight-or-flight.

I somewhat dislike the idea of speaking about politics, but I've been asked so here goes. It has been my experience thus far that the phenomenon I described in the above paragraph appears to be the ideal of the Republican party, especially so when speaking of the Far Right.. "Everyone to their own class and help only those within your own family or clique...and only if they are actively working to help themselves." I'm sure there are exceptions to this rule, but it does seem to be the rule. The elephant seems to wish for "survival of the fittest" whereas the donkey wishes for all to be equally happy and healthy.  Am I incorrect about this general assessment?

More specifically, what I find interesting about this particular election season is that Obama did what he did in the face of a Republican-led Congress that did everything they could NOT to work with him...yet not once did I ever heard the possibility of racism. Maybe racism didn't play a part, but isn't it interesting that there is not one black Republican congressman presently serving? Regardless of the reason, even the Pope needs his bishops to work with him to accomplish anything of note. If they were to decide en masse not to cooperate, there really isn't much he could do on his own.

It seems to me that Jesus, Buddha and Gandhi were all democrats. (Please note, I am NOT a political person. I think anyone that is elected will be favored at first and later rejected. It ultimately doesn't matter who is in office, America is in trouble and the next administration isn't going to do much but slow down or speed up the decline.) They all asked their followers to care for all of their fellow man, not just those who are related.

So, what do I believe regarding politics? From my limited understanding: We don't know what information the president gets each morning so we are not in a position to judge the effectiveness of the sitting president, whoever he is. I know that, if I help those who need it, I feel better about life. So I'll keep doing that. I believe that the pursuit of the almighty dollar has replaced the pursuit of community, or even God. I believe that a great way to build a house is to get the whole community involved. Isn't it interesting that America is very low in the studies conducted of general happiness and most poor countries scored higher in those same studies? Why is this? Because of the sense that everyone in the country is a part of the same family and if one fails, all fail.

But of course, this is America...

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Today, no longer yesterday and not yet tomorrow.

" The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away." Gassho to the unknown author.

Woke up chilled. Bless Tom, the heater works! Having donned long johns last night before bed, I knew it was going to be chilly when I climbed out of bed in the morning. Funny thing, though, how the chilly of one moment is different than the chilly of another. Had I just come in from 30 degree weather, this temperature would be positively warm. I've been trying for years, in vain thus far, to determine just what it is about the feeling of "cold" that is so uncomfortable.

Funny how cluttered a small space can become in the space of a few days when one is living out of a backpack. My Mom instilled in me a desire for cleanliness but I never developed the organizational skills to live uncluttered. One reason, I think, for owning just what is needed. Today, I pack for the next move. I like to leave where I've been in more orderly condition than I found it so, despite that fact that the camper was clean when I arrived, I'll find some way to leave it in "improved" condition.

I wrote the last bit yesterday. I'm finding that living totally without a schedule makes it somewhat difficult to remember to write in the blog everyday. My new temporary residence has been supplied by a woman who moved out of a duplex apartment but is keeping it for use by her daughter when she gets back to town early next month. Due to some allergy I have to something in the house, though, I am camping in the yard. This is cool because I truly enjoy sleeping in my tent. I find it interesting that, though my last partner loved camping, we never actually went camping while we were together, and obviously never used this tent.

In this new space, I have internet and use of the house. Plus, there are two beautiful black bobtail cats (Onyx and Obsidian) living here. Purry and talkative, very loving. The Universe loves me, I know, because I was just saying to someone yesterday that I was going through kitty-withdrawals. The rain is hitting the top cover of the tent and rolling down. There was thunder a few moments ago that prompted a downhill race between the drops of water that, before, were out for a leisurely roll.

Last night, after I had moved in, I walked down to the local dance studio, "Studio One," to visit with Kylee, the manager. Luke, the owner, was giving an Argentine Tango lesson. Though I know just a small amount of that particular dance, he invited me to join in. So, in my stocking feet, I Tango'd. T'was fun! Gassho to you Luke and Kylee!

I am truly blessed! I already have places to stay while in Sacramento (Blessings Christina and John) and in Walnut Creek (Blessings Lalena) after that. From there, I'll be headed to Big Sur to visit with a young man who I haven't seen in over a decade. He doesn't know it yet, I don't think, but I have been using one story about an event between he and I for years to teach the folly of assuming. (And though I teach how not to do it, I still occasionally fall prey to them.)

I am going to have to buy a different pair of boot/shoes. I have my motorcycle boots and a pair of sandals as well as a pair of dance sneakers. Well, none of them are good for walking or hiking. So, even though I just bought the MC boots a couple months ago, it seems that I'll have to let them go in favor of boots that will better allow me to explore. Perhaps, when I make it to the desert areas, I'll attempt to go barefoot.

As I was coming "home" from breakfast today, I passed a jolly giant of a tree. There was a VW bug parked behind it and I was unable to see the car until I walked around the tree. I looked up in its branches and was greeted by a massive squirrel. I now know why the cats seem hungry; the squirrels could beat them up!

Monday, October 22, 2012

Day 5, Monday


I awoke to rain on the roof of the little camper I'm staying  in. A cold front has come through and it is forecasted to rain off and on for the next couple days. The rain stopped today about 9 or 10am though there was a tornado that touched down a few miles north of town, so I hear.

Tom treated me to breakfast at a place named, Nash's. Great food, wonderful atmosphere. Afterward, he drove me out to see a Catholic  monastery that had used stones cut in the 12th century in the construction of a portion of their buildings. While there, we meditated in the church proper and wandered around the grounds a bit. Saw the fattest squirrels I think I have ever seen! I'll try to post some pictures of the stonework.

It was grand, being out there. I was able to reconnect with the peace I've experienced for most of the last 10 years. This was the first time I've reconnected with that level of peace in almost three months. I had the joy of picking up a few walnuts off the ground and revisiting my childhood in memory while eating them. It was the first time I've enjoyed that activity in many, many years.

After we got back to the house, Tom went to do whatever he had planned and I decided to just hang in the camper since it was chilly. My good friend, Keith, gave me a book entitled, 'The Man Who Quit Money' a few weeks ago and I've hardly had the time to crack the book open. So I read a large portion of it. Very good and I resonate with the fellow's lifestyle, though he has taken it a bit further than I want to.

I mentioned in my last entry how people seem to be more shielded than I remember from my youth. This was very evident as I walked around downtown. I was dressed fairly well, was clean and peaceful and had a small smile the whole time I was out, yet almost everyone I passed wouldn't meet my eyes, or didn't acknowledge me and kept to themselves. So sad since most people crave pleasant human interaction and they could easily have had it with me.

But it strikes me that others may not want to put forth the vulnerability of meeting someone new only to have that person be a "taker" rather than a "giver". So, we choose to reserve our extroverted  friendliness for those spaces where our energy invested might be returned with "profit" to ourselves. In other words, we don't say hello on the street to the same people we would hug on first meeting in church, or at a dance. You know, Jesus would likely have never even had been noticed if he had been born now, in America. He likely would've lived out his life in anonymity as so many do. He would've been fine with that, I think, but the world would've missed out on some great teachings. The same is true of most great spiritual teachers who haven't published books.

So, tomorrow I get to pack up and (hopefully) move to a different host for a few days. I've learned that things change...including well-laid plans. If necessary, I'll find a campground. I know everything will work out fine; this trip is being guided by the Universe.  :-)

Day 4, Sunday


 Yum! If you happen to be in or come to Chico, there is a great breakfast restaurant called, The Roost. A little, no frills place with great food at good prices. I can only speak with experience to one dish, but I heard others saying how great their food was. For dinner, I went to the Hometown Buffet, primarily for the company. Not a good choice for food or company.

One of the hardest things I've found thus far about traveling by myself is not having someone soft and pleasant to share my experiences with. Odd, for someone who has hardly ever traveled with company.  I guess getting older does create changes. I find that I am much more reserved in meeting people now than I once was. Not because of fear of rejection or anything like that, but rather, just not as interested in putting forth all the effort in overcoming the initial resistance to make that first connection. Women of "date-able" age seem to be much more shielded now than when I was in my 20's and 30's. Especially so when one is just in town for a week or so.

I went to a Center for Spiritual Living (CSL) church this morning and the speaker was an ex-staff minister who spoke about the affair she had with one of the members of the church and what she learned from the experience. She lost her husband and her children don't want to speak with her for now and the guy lost his wife. As she said, she is going to be punished by her actions for years, but she is now moving on. I have great respect for this woman who lived through her mistakes, learned from them, was open about it and then decided to move on. I was sitting in the front row and could see how her hands were shaking. It takes a true spiritual warrior to stand in front of a congregation as she did and make such a confession and apology.

We all commit behaviors we later regret. In fact, we may even regret the behavior AS we commit it but feel like we have no choice. (Do we have a choice if we can't see that we have a choice?) This is all a part of living. One aspect of living a spiritually-based life is that we choose to focus on learning from our "mistakes" and attempt to discontinue those behaviors that don't serve the greater good of all. We forgive ourselves as well as others and we don't run from what is difficult to face about ourselves and our own behavior/emotions/thoughts. It is very rare that great spiritual growth comes without difficult challenges.

I hung out with Tom and his girlfriend, Bridget for a while in the evening. Tom's roommate, Cal, came out and visited for a short while too. Wonderful conversations going on all evening. I retired about 10pm to let them have alone time.

Sunday, October 21, 2012

Day 3


Today was a good day, for me at least; don't know about that mosquito though. I slept well and awoke early.  I had plans to go to the Chico Farmer's Market about 10 blocks away from where I'm staying.  I found and spoke to the manager and she welcomed me. It was a fairly busy market, though once it got really busy, people quit stopping to get balloons. I think they were afraid of getting trampled. I wound up making enough to keep me for a few days.

I had made a big balloon hat as is my want and even made a balloonicature of "the Balloon Man"  and a "tweety" to put on top. Just as I was finishing up, a couple approached and bought it from me for $12. That's a bit less than it was worth, but more than I often get for the hats I make for work.

As I was packing up to leave, Tova, the woman who contacted me originally  to host me, showed up. I spoke with her for a bit and gave her a mini-dance lesson next to my bike. She gave me some great information  about the surrounding area so I decided to stick around a week or so. Tom, my present host, generously offered to let me stay in his camper for 4 nights and Tova offered me a place for a few more nights.  This gives me time to explore.

I went to this great sandwich shop called  Pluto's. Had a wonderful grilled portabella mushroom sandwich. While I was standing in line to pay, I made a couple little balloon hats for a couple college girls that were in line with me. It was so cute, the way they carried on! One said, convincingly, that it was to coolest thing that ever happened to her in her life.  Don't think I quite believe that, but they both were very excited and they ate their meals with their hats on and wore them all the way down the street. There are times when I just love what I do!

I contacted Tom and offered to buy him a coffee so he hopped on his little scooter and zipped on down. We sat and talked for a bit. He told me about some other neat places around here that I may try to visit before I leave. It is somewhat unfortunate that a cold front is coming in that is due to lower the temperatures considerably. It sounds like there are some very cool places to go swimming around here.

This is a very cool little city. It supports the 3rd largest municipal park in the US. I drove through a part of it and saw the coolest children's playground! Kinda wish I was still a little kid. Looked like more fun than riding my unloaded motorcycle...naw! I was also told that there is a place toward the East from here that is nicknamed, The Little Grand Canyon. I think I will go see if I can find it tomorrow.  Of course, plans change so I may not.

An example of plans changing is that I went out to go dancing tonight but the place I read about wasn't open. There are lots of young people out dancing tonight, but no couple dancing that I can find. I don't feel like going to a college club as there is nothing there for me but eye candy and I can do without too much of that just now. 

Saturday, October 20, 2012

Day 2

Medford, Or, in the morning, Chico,CA in the evening. The ride down was pretty long and I felt like I was being pushed by the weather the whole way. It wasn't until I was about 20 miles north of Redding before I was able to get out from under the clouds.

I had thought that I had a place lined up in Chico but never got a confirmation so, when I pulled off I-5 to check for a message from the woman who'd contacted me, you might understand my momentary unhappiness. But right at the moment I turned my thoughts to finding tent space in Redding,I received another invitation from a guy named, Tom G. I called the number he gave me and I headed over after getting directions. Turns out that he offered me a pickup camper to stay in for a few days! I have to say that I'm honored by such kindness and generosity as the hosts on couchsurfing.org display.

We chatted for a short time and he even loaned me the use of his computer to find a place to go dancing tonight. He had a date with his girl so we each went our own ways. After changing clothes, I went to Studio 1 dance studio for an evening of "club ballroom."

It's a pleasant studio with a fairly large floor. I had the honor of dancing with the manager, a beautiful young woman named, Kai-lee (spelled phonetically). Very interesting woman; she is apprenticed to be a wild animal trainer. She said it takes 12 to 14 years to get licensed and she is in year 5. She gets to work with lions, tigers, and bears, "__ __!" ; -) I thought it interesting and amusing  that the bouncer...eh, "customer relations expert" was named Leo. A very intelligent and personable fellow.

And now, though there is more that I could easily write, I'm going to get ready for sleep so that I can get up early enough to twist at the farmers market tomorrow/today.

Thursday, October 18, 2012

1st day.

Got a very late start because I thought I'd stay another day and get an early start tomorrow... Then I heard the weather forecast. You guessed it, rain. 100% chance. I decided that riding on dry pavement was worth the money for an extra night on the road. However, I wasn't planning on $50 on a Motel 6. Oh, well.

The ride over was uneventful, except inside my head. Lots of stuff going on in there! Not a good thing anytime and especially not good when riding a m'bike. I've been a civic Northwest for almost 10 years, a lot has happened that time.  I found myself reviewing my time here and thinking about my friends and loved ones who are no longer in communication: there are several.

Two of them got married and that ended much of our close communication. Another was too busy to maintain another friendship; especially since I tend not to initiate communication if I'm not in an intimate relationship. Two others triggered intense emotional reactions in me, and in at least one case, her. I promised another that I wouldn't discuss anything about the relationship, especially online and I'll honor that. But each of these people still mean a great deal to me.

As I was passing through Sunny Valley, the sky was so beautiful due to the sunset and clouds that I had to stop and take a picture.  Will have to wait until I have internet access to the post the picture because I took it with my camera.

When I got into Medford, I was going to go straight to get a hotel but remembered that there is a ballroom here in town. I did not even get off bike but rode to the Evergreen Ballroom for some West Coast Swing dancing. There are some very good dancers here!

And now, it is time for bed... Sure wish I had remembered tooth paste!

About time to go...

I have about 2 hours left before I'm loaded and set to go. Still not sure if I'll turn the bike south on 101 our head east to I-5. Guess I'll figure that out once I get underway. A good friend (a young man I've often thought of as my son) is going to be in Big Sir at the end of the month so I'll make my way there to see him. Haven't seen him in a decade or so. I'll stop in the San Francesco area and visit a bit, go by the Zen center and also take in a few dance lessons while visiting with friends. Then I'll head down Route 1. From what I've read, I can likely make some money in Big Sur, twisting.
I think I can edit posts, so I'll add to this one later. I'm going to post a final configuration picture of the bike.
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2:30 pm NEW! Turns out that I'm not leaving today after all. By the time I finally got ready, I figured I'd have to stop too soon to make the trip today worthwhile. So, since the bike is packed and ready to go, I will stay another night in Bandon and get an early start tomorrow. Perhaps I will use this time to pare down what I'm taking. Got WAY too much stuff that I feel I need to take! This gives me time to see if I can find sleeping places in Chico, Ca and Sacramento.
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3:00 EVEN NEWER! Looks like I WILL be leaving today after all. Just looked at the forecast and it is due to rain all day tomorrow. I'd rather stay in a hotel in Ashland than have to deal with the rain. Sigh....there goes a good portion of my starting resources.

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Delusion within delusion and Enlightenment within Enlightenment

Time to go is soon upon me. Received a haircut this morning, still haven't gotten a response from my requests on couchsurfers.org and though I've figured out most of what I'm taking, I haven't figured out how it is going to go on the bike for easy access.

My mother asked me if I am excited to go on this trip. I haven't been, yet. I work to keep my attention in the present moment and since I have no clue whatsoever of where I'm going or what I'm going to do, there isn't anything to "look forward" to, though I will do my best to honor my life by being fully present with whatever presents itself. I've been caught in the land of the "Pain Body", as Eckhart Tolle calls it, for the past two months. That state of mind is definitely NOT pleasant. However, my sense of presence is coming back and I have reason to believe that the Pain Body will be much weaker after this episode.

While I was in the Great Vow Zen Monastery, one chant we did mentioned, "delusion within delusion and enlightenment within enlightenment." I asked the abbot what that meant. He replied that "delusion" is the idea that we are all separate and "delusion within delusion" are those who seek to harm themselves or others. Enlightenment is that understanding of our True Nature, which can only be pointed to but never understood with the mind. "Enlightenment within enlightenment" is when the realization of oneness has permeated the entire mind/body system of a individual's life. One may get a flash of Reality, which is a nuclear experience. It explodes conditioning of one who experiences it. However, just as there are often survivors in massive natural or man-made disasters, there are parts of conditioning that survive exposure to the Truth of Enlightenment or Awakening.

I found one such surviving delusion recently with the unexpected help of an honored teacher. I had no clue that such pain and delusion still survived within me. However, it is all a part of life and if we remain open and present to the experience, even if we cannot always control our own responses, we eventually allow the awakening to mature and integrate throughout the system thus becoming "Enlightened within enlightenment"...or so I am told and in the process of verifying within my own experience. Hogan Bays, the Abbot of GV, is one such person, I believe.

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

My bike,

Pretty much like it'll be loaded.


Preparations...

So, just changed the oil and the spark plugs, fixed one of the saddlebags as best I could and now the "take with" selection process begins. OMG! It is almost overwhelming! Those who know me, know that I own very little, but when one is trying to figure out what to take on a months-long motorcycle trip, even that little bit can be daunting. I have to take clothes suitable for dancing and everyday wear, dance shoes and sandals plus boots for the motorcycle, balloons and the stuff I need for twisting, toiletries and tent and sleeping bag. Plus my computer (wish I had an iPAD, it'd be much more space-saving) and cellphone and chargers. I also want to take a couple books that have meaning for me right now. All this on a relatively small motorcycle. Hmmm...

Then I have to store the stuff I'm not taking, mow my mother's yard and possibly clean her neighbor's windows. All before Thursday. "So why," you may ask, "are you creating this post?" Because it is a part of getting used to posting something. Plus I'm a bit of a procrastinator.

However, I will listen to my imaginary friend who is telling me to sign off and get to work.

A good friend wrote something to me the other day that I think is fabulous, "May you get what you need and may it bare some resemblance to what you want." This I wish for you.

PS, I've posted several requests for places to stay via couchsurfing.org for Eureka, Ca as my first stop on this journey. Now to see if that is where I will be led to go.

Monday, October 15, 2012

Namaste and welcome to my blog. I'm new to this but will attempt to make it interesting enough to keep your attention. What you'll find in here: insights from my healing process, stories from time on the road with almost no seed money but lots of faith in the Universe to guide and support me. There'll be spiritual insights (based on Buddhist thought, primarily), couple dance tips, just about anything that I think will be entertaining or useful...with a greater emphasis on useful. From time to time, I may add stories from my past...but in to be honest, I'm not real sure what will wind up in here. If you know me in person, you may read things that you might not wish to know, but I'll tell the truth as I know it and will hold nothing back.

I just turned 49 and I'm about to load my old 1981 Yamaha 850 Special motorcycle and head south to parts unknown. I have no idea where I'm going or for how long I'll be gone or what I will be doing. I'll likely be leaving with no more than $300 and several thousand balloons so I'll be relying on the Universe to guide me and provide the things I need.

I must tell you that I am no stranger to traveling without knowing where I'm going to; I've done it in many different fashions throughout my life beginning with running away from home when I was 14 or 15. (I think it was just before my 14th birthday, but my mother says differently.) I left that time with about $40 in silver dollars I stole from my mom's collection. I didn't take all she had, just what I felt I needed. Hamilton, Ohio was my home then. I slept beside the road in a ditch that night, using a Sunday paper from someone's drive as a cover after wadding some of it up and stuffing it in my clothes. It was COLD that night!! I recently told my mom that story and she asked if I had been a boyscout. I learned it from one of the science fiction books I used to read all the time.

I chose a back-road route that I didn't think anyone would think I would choose and just headed West. My thought at the time was that no one from my family had ever been West of the Mississippi so no one would think to look for me there. I shoplifted and walked checks at restaurants to stay alive. One shop owner caught me and rather than turn me in, he gave me all the food I could carry with me plus $20. He was the first of many Earth Angels that I ran across. At another location, a hotel owner gave me a room.

When I got to Hollywood, I didn't know how I would make money but as I walked around looking at this huge, weird city, I saw a live mannequin dressed like a cowboy standing in front of Mann's Chinese Theater. His name was Curtis Reed and he died without ever knowing how he changed the entire course of my life. When I saw him, I thought to myself, 'I can do that.' I went down the road a block or so and sure enough, I was able to make enough money to support myself. I camped at night in this old defunct estate that overlooked Hollywood along with many other homeless people. Had it not been for Curtis (not real nice to me) I might have would up in the porn industry as I was approached two weeks after I arrived in Hollywood by a fellow who offered that lifestyle to me. I didn't accept right away because I had a little money in my pocket and thought the deal was too good to be true. I'll never know for sure because, after I told him I had to think about it, I never heard form him again.

I didn't know that I was a good looking young man although many people told me that I was. However, I did get the opportunity to dance as an exotic dancer for a few years. At one point during those years, I had the president (I think it was) of Jet Magazine as my manager who got gigs for me and a few friends at bars and clubs. I did Human Robotics as a part of my act and found 3 young black men who did pop-locking. Together we created a stage show and traveled about the LA area performing.

There is way too much to write of my past that is entertaining right now, but suffice it to say, my life was not normal! Though, to me, it was just my life. It wasn't romantic or especially exciting, though I often hear that I need to write a book about it. Maybe, if I get a good enough response from blogging, I may consider writing one more fully.

So, why am I leaving the beautiful Pacific Northwest at this time? There are many factors, but chief among them is due to the weather. Because I twist balloons and teach dance for a living while only having a motorcycle for transportation, it is usually difficult to make money up here in the cold and wet. I've spent the last couple years in Bandon, Oregon, but with the recent dissolution of a wonderful romantic relationship, there isn't much I am needed for up here. My daughter in Bellingham, Wa is doing well enough and my mother here in Bandon has her boyfriend. So, there are no ties to keep me here, but plenty of ties to keep me coming back form time to time.

I'll change the oil and spark plugs tomorrow and hope the thing stays running during my trip. I bought it a couple years ago for $500. Thus far, I've put over 16,000 miles on it. Soon after I got it, I rode it to San Diego in two days. That's about 1000 miles. Not bad for a 47 year old. When I left there to come back, a woman partially ran a stop sign and in the attempt to keep the bike upright, I broke a toe and caused a bit of nerve damage. It wound up raining almost every inch of the way back up to Bandon and I slept one night in my wet clothes in an abandoned car wash. Though I was wearing waterproof boots, my socks got more dry tied onto my backpack; waterproof boots are great, except that they retain water once it gets in them. It was a cold, miserable trip. In fact, the whole trip was so awful that all I could do was laugh at how awful it was.

So, this trip....I hope to heal from many issues that have arisen since the disillusion of my previous relationship. I hope to see many sights that amaze and astound me. I've been all over the country many times, but never really took the time to get off the freeways and see what really is out there. I plan to do volunteer work and maybe even get some work on a cruise ship.

One major issue that I have presently is that. without intervention, I will likely be losing a bridge in my mouth soon. The Universe will provide, but at the moment, I have no clue how it will manifest.

For those who don't know me, if any are interested in following this blog, you can find additional information about me at my website, Insights of the Heart. Now, though, I think it is time to let my friends know about this blog and go to bed. Om Shanti (God's peace) and good night.